Week 2 - Dream On

Walt Disney once said, “First, think. Second, Dream. Third, believe. And finally, dare.” While the instructions Disney outlines in this statement seem simple and clear, they are far from uncomplicated. But why? Who stands in our way of reaching our goals and bringing our dreams into reality? Spoiler alert: it’s ourselves.

While watching Randy Pausch’s lecture “How to Achieve Your Childhood Dreams,” I was struck at his ability to see opportunities in difficult circumstances. One of the most poignant teachings from his speech was the concept that brick walls are only there to show us how badly we want something. Pausch didn’t just focus on the dreams he achieved in a literal sense, but more on how he worked through limitations and found alternative ways to fulfill his ambitions. While he dreamt of playing in the National Football League (a dream he was unable to fulfil literally), he instead took the lessons he learned in the process of reaching that goal and turned those into the measure of his success. Focusing on fundamentals and learning about the power of enthusiasm taught him one of the most important lessons – that experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. His dream of experiencing zero gravity wasn’t tied to a larger goal of being an astronaut – he found success in keeping his goal specific. Understanding that our dreams allow us to find alternative avenues to success helps us achieve what’s most important to us in the long run.

Dreaming is an integral part of our personal development. They teach us to be hopeful, imaginative, resourceful and humble. As we stumble along the way we learn how to reset and readjust our approach. And as we fail, we learn how to reframe our goals to fit our real needs and desires and teach us to utilize the myriad of gifts and tools we have at our disposal. Dreams set us on a path of exploration personal growth.

One of my childhood dreams was to have a successful marriage. As a child of divorced parents, I craved stability and consistency. While I didn’t have a clear example of what I wanted, I knew it wasn’t what I had experienced in my own life. My first step, thinking, was recognizing what I wanted. As I began to dream of what a healthy marriage looked like (step two), I looked for examples around me to emulate. When I started to recognize the healthy relationships that surrounded me (friends, other family members, neighbors, etc.) I understood more clearly what I wanted. The third step, to believe, was the toughest for me. Could it really happen for me? If my parents couldn’t be successful in marriage, why would I think that I could do it? This part of the process involved me building myself up and realizing that my potential was not determined by my circumstances. I can do hard things! Then came step four – dare! Realizing that this dream could be my reality, I took chances on relationships. Some worked out, some didn’t, but I vowed to take something positive (a lesson) from each experience until I was able to make my dream a reality. This process taught me that as important as it was to find the right partner, it was just as important to BE the right partner. And while my marriage is far from perfect (aren’t they all?), by putting in the hard work, my dream become my reality.